Music, like tides, comes and goes in different levels. The point is to see which will let you swim and which will let you walk. Act II is like the red tide. It could be beautiful from a distance, but don't let that fool you.

After Act I: Making A Martyr was released, I felt a sense of emptiness. Nothing had been achieved. So I tried to find myself by walking to the beach on winter's morning to watch the waves crash. Nobody else was there.

At this beach I stared at the waves. After a while of staring, I began to imagine a woman standing on a rock. She was hideous. I loved her. I found myself walking to the beach every day just to see her again.

Then one day she flew to the moon.

When I was 7, I used to wonder what I'd be like when I was an adult. What I'd look like. How I'd sound. What music I'd listen to. I would look at the number "24" on all my logins at school and think "Wow, 2024 is so far away, I have all the time in the world." I had no worries about it. College seemed like such a fantasy to me. Still, I yearned for it, for that independence. I could watch TV all day. I could eat what I wanted. I could stay up as long as I wanted to, with nobody to tell me when to go to bed. Now with all of that hitting me so suddenly, I cannot help but yearn for the days in which my parents would tuck me into bed. Everything is happening so fast, and I feel like a ghost with unfinished business. I feel like I need to do so much in so little time. I couldn't possibly.

Yet here I am. Losing time.

I’ve been grasping at even the slightest semblance of childhood recently. I’ve been visiting places that I used to go to, I’ve been talking to people who knew me when I was younger, and I’ve been indulging in music that my parents raised me on. I know that nothing will give me that innocence I used to have, but every so often I get a whiff of something that reminds me of my childhood. Then suddenly, it’s gone just as fast as it appeared.

I’ve been nervous, as many people have told me that the ever marching beast that is “Time”, never slows down. It speeds up and then suddenly you are 40 with 3 kids and prescriptions for your heart. But that’s how it goes. Maybe that life is for me.

I’ll miss my childhood though. I’ll miss getting off of the school bus to greet my grandparents. I’ll miss playing in the sand at the beach. I’ll miss listening to Billy Joel and Jethro Tull with my parents during car rides. I’ll miss being tucked in at night.

But someday I’ll be able to experience that again. When I tuck my children into bed. When my parents greet them at their bus stop. When I show them all my favorite bands.

My time isn’t lost. The clock just reset.

“Life goes on.” - Louis Gianquinto Sr.